How to support your loved one if you can’t visit them in person
Practical things, such as living a long way away or competing demands on your time, can mean you’re unable to spend as much time supporting your loved one in person as you'd like to. But there might be some other ways you can help them feel supported. Here are a few ideas.
If you need to talk, we’re here. Call our Support Line on 0800 090 2309. Marie Curie support services are free to call and open 8am-6pm Monday to Friday and 11am-5pm on Saturday and Sunday.
Use video calling
A phone call to see how your loved one is doing is an obvious way to stay connected. Seeing family and friends may be an important part of your loved one’s life – so literally showing your face on a video call (whether that’s over WhatsApp, Facetime or Skype) can help to simulate that feeling of being together. If your loved one doesn’t use this technology, could you show them how?
Send pictures
Sending WhatsApps or texts is a good way to let someone know you’re thinking of them. But photos, videos and funny pictures can add variety and help to add to their sense of being connected with the outside world. You could have a look through your gallery and share or re-share photos of happy times together, moments from your day, things to make them laugh or to generally lift their spirits.
Use the post
Popping a note, postcard or greetings card in the post – even if the message is a short one – can create a nice surprise for your loved one. If you’d normally spend quite a bit of time together, why not use that time to write a proper letter? Reading a message in someone’s handwriting can help create a sense of personal connection. You could include some photos too, ready to be propped up and enjoyed in hard copy form.
Send a care package
Putting together a little care package can be a good way to show someone you’re thinking of them. You could include their favourite snack, a magazine or a new pair of socks… Anything which you feel will give them a little boost. It doesn’t have to be new – it’s the thought that counts. Wrapping things up and adding notes and labels will make the experience of opening it even more special. You could even ask for step-by-step WhatsApp selfies of their reaction to each gift...
Make them something
A homemade gift can often feel like a really special gesture. The possibilities for what you can make are practically endless too. From art to craft, poems to posies, have a think about what the person would really like, then have fun making it. To give you some inspiration, some of our volunteers recently crocheted a whole load of little hearts to give to patients at our West Midlands Hospice and their families, to keep them all feeling connected while they can't see each other.
Co-ordinate your TV time
Even if you can’t be together, you could agree to watch the latest episode of their favourite programme (whether on live TV or catch-up) at the same time – so you can share your reactions in real time over text, or on a phone call afterwards.
Share recommendations
Sending on things you’ve enjoyed reading, watching or listening to may help to keep your loved one entertained. But it may also help to give you things to talk about when you catch up. You could even do a virtual book club where you compare notes together on a video call or over text.
Ask some questions
Even if you can’t be together in person, you can still learn about someone. You could write down some questions you’ve always wanted to know the answer to and send them to your loved one to consider. You could even create a family tree together. You could ‘interview’ them over the phone, ask them to write back or even make a recording. Either way, they might enjoy the chance to share in this way. And you may learn something about them – or their family – that you never knew.
Be more active on social media
Social media can help us feel connected at the best of times. But if your loved one is an active social media user, now may be an even better time to stay engaged with them. That means messaging, replying, responding and having conversations rather than just looking at what they post.
Get everyone involved
Share ideas with friends and family about the things they can do to help and encourage them to get involved. What about getting the children to do some special artwork or a video diary to share with the person so they feel connected with the rest of the family?
Recognise being apart can be hard
It can be hard not to see the people you love and it’s okay to feel sad about it. It may help to talk to family and friends about how you’re feeling. You can also call our Support Line for emotional support on 0800 090 2309 (free and open 8am-6pm Monday to Friday and 11am-5pm on Saturday).
